“Unbar the door!” This was more serious than toast!

After a time-wasting effort to lift the heavy bar, the freed man stepped out. He unbarred other stalls. More men stepped out, all with swords and shields. The shields of the soldiers had an emblem of a golden piece of buttered toast with the kingdom’s motto underneath, “TOAST IS THE BEST INVENTION SINCE SLICED BREAD.” Yah, it’s really motivating.

“We were overpowered by the mob and put in here. The king is in great danger. We need to save him!” the captain of the squadron said.

“Now that the you-threaten-me-with-a-knife-dllemma is over, I’m going to make toast!” I darted out of the room before they could ask me to do anything else. 

The throne room was filled with people like too much bread on a toast tray. The king, it seemed, was a little “tied up” at the moment. But I knew he’d still want his 9:30s on time.

I don’t know how I inconspicuously snuck through the crowd, my courtly clothes contrasted against their shabby coarse-woven stuff. It was six minutes till nine thirty. That meant I had to do a little more than one piece of toast per minute. Underneath a table buttering toast is not the best view, all you really see is everybody’s bottom end.

“The king has been eating too much toast! So it is time we take a bite! Remember that day the duke said to the king that the peasants are hungry. The king said, ‘let them have toast’!” One peasant’s pants and feet shouted at the king’s tied up fancy dress pants and buckled shoes. The king’s wasteline rolled back in defiance.

“You can’t eat my toast!”

“Really? Bring me the toast and make sure it’s still hot!”

One, two, three, four pieces of toast were finished two and a half to go… Six and a half with a minute to spare. I was the finest buttering I’d ever laid on. It was too bad that we were going to eat such art. 

Had I really thought that toast making was an art? Hardly. It makes your wrists hurt from buttering, but then again hard work pays off. You burn your hands on the toast taking it out of the oven, but toast smells so good. The scent of melting butter, tantalizing, and the smell of a butter knife is, well… butter-knifish.

“Ha!” an arm reached down and grabbed my hand!