If you are not of the species “Astute Natural Trailblazers”, you must be some other insect since no human could read this encoded message. So if you are not an ANT, you will probably have to rethink our entire colony. Humans and you might think we have one queen, winged male ants, and female workers. You would be wrong. Those types of ants are uncivil. Our colony is different. We set our community up much like a human republic, except without corrupt power hungry leaders. We have male and female workers, and a queen or king (We are also not cannibalistic as some bugs and humans think). But that’s just our species of ant, of which we are the last surviving colony.

Now it is time for me to give you an explanation of the war, which is completely true (don’t listen to the red ants’ excuse. It is terrible). And without further delay, the complete account of the Great War! One night the red ants attacked us and we are still fighting to get even. The End.

You are probably thinking, “This is a terrible author. When is he going to get on with the story?!” That is a good question. The answer is after another paragraph on how great we are!

Our kind is great. Our intelligence has earned us the title, “Greatest, Most Fantastic, Astute, Natural Trailblazers, Mighty, Humble, Realy, Really Strong and Fast Ants. The only reason we are not the dominant race is because we are not at the top of the food chain. The only reason we are not at the top of the food chain is that if other animals did not eat us, the entire ecosystem would crash and we would all die! We could never accept such a fate for our ecosystem.

The sun caught the edge of the penny, making it shine brilliantly, which was inconvenient. I, Dan, didn’t very much enjoy having the magnified light of the sun reflected into my bed of grass and my groggy face. We had stayed up late trying to get to an outpost, and arguing about our heads. I did not want to wake up. “Maybe I’ll wake up some time later, but I’m so tired…” the whole world spun back into darkness.

If you have ever dreamed, then you know that dreams are connected with what is going on or what has happened. For instance, I was on border-protection duty last year. They sent me to defend the concrete wall that surrounds the yard. I was sleeping very deeply. I dreamt I was falling to my doom because a gummy bear pushed me off a gumball. When really, I was sleeping on the edge of the wall, and a band of red ants came up and pushed me off! It took days and days without a single beetle burger to get back to the top. My army friends claimed I had abandoned the fight and pushed me off again!

When you are dreaming something similar to what is actually happening, you should wake up and stop in time to dodge the ant that is trying to push you off a wall, or whatever is happening to you. But in a dream your mind is inconveniently shut off. (Therefore, you shouldn’t sleep in areas inhabited by ants with evil intent). Unfortunately, your brain can not wake you up in time to realize that those gummy bears are actually the ants with evil intent! So I dreamt that morning, and out of all the dreams… it had to be about gummy bears…

I was glued with some grossly sticky substance.,I could not move. Looking around, I caught sight of a gumball. The delicious odor floated into my nostrils. The gumball was red and shiny. I turned away the best I could, not bearing the torture of not being able to reach it. That is when I concluded that I must not be me. I was some other unintelligent look-alike because I would never be so careless as to get stuck just out of reach of a delicious gumball! Squeaking sounds drew me out of my thoughts. It was like a human was walking around in wet flip-flops. The Squeaks became clearer. As they drew near, I realized it was not wet flip-flops, but the unique sound of a gummy bear walking. How could I be so brainless as to think otherwise! The bears were saying something, “… I don’t know, but whatever they have we want!”

“But that looks heavy, I’m not going to luge that all the way!”

“Oh! Be quiet, they will wake up any minute!” one shouted, and there was silence. The gummy bears were carrying the gumball away, almost out of site.

It was almost too late when I awoke to see the red ants carrying the penny almost out of sight! I am sorry but this is not the part of the story where I jump up and save the day, although that part is coming (part 3 to be exact). I regret it now, but just then, I stood there stunned. How could I not have realized that the gummy bears once again were the infamous red ants?

I rolled over, “Oh no!” I muttered. This is also not the part of the story that I jump up and save the day, but at least I took the initiative. I got over to my friend Jon, “Jon Jon, wake up!”

“Go to sleep Dan!” 

“What! I just told you to wake up! Over there…” I was at a loss for words and spewed anything that came to mind as I panicked, “to! up! going! I mean almost gone, red… they’re into sunrise!”.

“I will not see the sunrise with you, go get Philip.” 

I realized that it was time to take serious action, I was going to yell.

“Everyone! The gummy bears are getting the way!” I wasn’t yet thinking clearly enough to call them red ants.

“Sleep in! It’s Saturday! Dan’s cracked. Don’t listen to him and his gummy bears!” I was going to have to take matters into my own six legs…