*Note: I am a Christian, so you proceed in reading know that I believe everything the Bible says about the birth of Jesus. If this makes you uncomfortable then you are welcome to disregard this post.

The Nativity seems so magical doesn’t it? We all know the way it is typically depicted in this western world. It takes place in a stable, with sweet smelling hay and gentle farm animals (who either clean up after themselves or are just constipated). The supporting cast: Mary, draped in blue, Joseph, who is mostly just a prop we tend to forget about, smiling shepherds, and angels who look more like a girls choir than heavenly warriors. There are also the wise men, and then there’s our hero. Jesus, someone we hear so much about and yet are always striving to understand. His infant self is often depicted as a happy, curiously white, baby who never cries or needs his diaper changed. Of course this is how it all was. Or was it? 

“Silent night, holy night, all is calm, all is bright.” You can almost hear it can’t you? Peaceful solitude, the stillness found only after dark. The lowing of the cows and the cooing of the doves. 

Have you ever heard the sounds of a woman in labor? It is anything but quiet. Mary convulsing and screaming hardly makes for a silent night. Cooing doves? Maybe. But what about rats scurrying around in the roof? Or cockroaches hissing in the dark corners? 

Perhaps the stable was in an out of the way place where they had some privacy, but the Bible does not mention a stable. Disagree with me? Look for yourself. It says only that he was laid in a manger because there was no room in the inn. For all we know the manger was in a courtyard. Remember all the crowds traveling because of the census? Imagine the noise hundreds of stressed people can make. Then, cram them all into a tiny town without room for all of them. Shouting, arguing, babies crying, dogs barking, drunken singing (why not?), chatting, cartwheels on cobblestone, men trying to sell goods to the travelers, and all the haggling and bartering that follows. 

What about the shepherds when they came to see the child? These were rugged men of the world, used to poverty and the struggle for survival. Then, they see an angel. No, not just an angel, a whole choir of angels telling them that the Messiah, who has been waited for since the days of Israel’s glory, has come at last. If you were in their place would you tiptoe into the stable (or courtyard, but we’ll go with stable to make things easier) and walk up to the baby in single file? Or would you tumble through the doors, shouting and babbling and all struggling to get the best view? 

When the wise men showed up they probably weren’t much calmer. Maybe there was a whole crowd of slaves and servants, not to mention pack animals, wives (they could’ve each dragged along a harem), bodyguards, translators, and a crowd of curious neighbors who followed them in. 

What is the most Christmasy (the internet says that isn’t a word but I think it should be) smell you can think of? Gingerbread, oranges, and pine needles come to my mind. Probably none of those delightful scents were present in the stable. 

Contrary to popular belief, the animals in the stable likely had all the usual bodily functions. The excrements of farm animals, particularly those of cows, are not at all pleasing to the nose. Mary and Joseph had just been traveling, without a chance to bathe, and the smell of sweat and body odor would have been present. After the birth took place the smell of blood (and etc.) would have been added to it. The odors of mildew and dust may have also hung in the air. 

“In the bleak midwinter frosty wind made moan, earth stood hard as iron, water like a stone.” 

Christina Rosseti was a brilliant poet and her poem, “In the Bleak Midwinter”, is among the best of Christmas carols. However, ahem, it is unlikely that it was snowing in Bethlehem. According to the internet, while snow is possible in modern Bethlehem, it is very rare. December is generally filled with days of unromantic dampness and chill. But, as I said, snow is possible and if it were going to snow I don’t think God would mind having it happen on his son’s birthday. But wait. Was Jesus born in December? 

We don’t know. Experts have suggested that Jesus was born in the Spring (to account for the shepherds being in their fields). I like to think that he was born in October. A purely unbiased opinion I assure you. It has nothing to do with the fact that I was born in that same month… 

I have seen many artists attempt to portray Baby Jesus. Some of them were ridiculous and others charming. In my own culture the Baby is often very white looking, ignoring his Jewish ethnicity. Even if he was pale, my own brother was born with a purple face. Over the following week it changed to red and then eventually to a more normal shade. His head was stretched by the, um, process of delivery. He was wrinkly, mostly bald, and until his first bath was covered in blood and yellow gunk. Despite this frightening introduction I assure that he now is the most adorable toddler in existence. 

While I like the plump, giggling version of the Holy Child, I cannot ignore the fact that he was a newborn. I do not know if he looked anything like my brother, but it is worth thinking about. 

***

I am not an expert on anything, I am a highschool student. What I have written here has been merely the result of common sense and the texts I have read. I am probably among the least qualified to be writing anything about Jesus’s birth, but someone needs to do it. 

Why is it so mysterious to us? What could be more ordinary than a baby being born? My mother has had more than I care to number and after the third sibling the novelty wore off. Of course, Jesus was a special baby, but isn’t it the whole point that he came in a humble, and ordinary way? 

The setting Jesus was born into is no longer ordinary to us. Ancient Israel is far enough removed from us to make everything seem strange and foriegn. It is easy to forget that what feels distant from us was very real 2,000 or so years ago. How would it have been if Jesus was born in our place and time? 

What if Mary was just your ordinary girl on the block? A kid just out of high school about to be married to a construction worker, Joseph. What would replace the stable? A garage of course. And the manger? A cardboard box filled with bubble wrap and old newspapers. The shepherds? A bunch of grocery store checkout workers or McDonald’s employees. Then come the wise men. What would they be like? Foriegn professors perhaps, or maybe something more like NASA scientists. 

It sounds silly, and even disrespectful, to suggest something like that. Don’t think I was entirely comfortable doing it. Discomfort notwithstanding, I have said what I wanted to say. It’s your turn to do the thinking.