Soliloquy in Defense of Jest
(Or, The Thing I Made Not in Blue Lagoon 3)
To poke, or not to poke, that is the question:
Whether ’tis nobler in the joke to suffer
The slings and tomatoes of outrageous heckling,
Or to make Puns against a Sea of subjects,
And by my jesting lose them: to pun, to laugh
At self; and by our laugh, we say we end
The staleness, to see the thousand unspoken comedies
That We are prone to? ‘Tis a revelation
Devoutly to be wished. To laugh, to joke,
To joke, perchance to See; aye, there’s the rub,
For in that sight of levity, what dreams may come,
When we have shuffled off this chortle coil,
Must give us pause. There’s the respect
That makes Tragedy of so laughless life:
For who would bear the Quips and Scorns of haters,
The Hypocrite’s blather, the late night’s Costco Trip,
The pangs of puzzled Love, the Law’s decay,
The awkwardness of Highschool, and the spurns
Us punful thinkers from th’brainless take,
How can we ourselves Quiet Us make
With a batless Belfry? Who would duncities bear,
To cringe and sweat under a blushsome life,
But that the joy of jesting after the gaffe,
The unfettered foolering, in whose light
All memory roseates, liftens the soul,
And makes us better bear what ills we have,
Flinging us towards what that we know not of?
Thus poking does make Churchills of us all,
And thus our native hue of Confusion
Is glazled o’er, with the bedazzling chrome of Wit,
And mishappenings of great sigh and smh,
With this regard their Failings geyser up,
And lose the name of Failure. Soft you now,
The fair NoOnelia? Gracelet, in thy Noodlings
Be all my prattlements wasted.

s(pal)u(n)ks to be u rn
(Or, The Thing I Made Not in a Dark Hole Full of Sweaty Teens)
Hi deeky dow spalunking we go
Har diddle dar in the dark we are
Hey doingy dey I think this is the way
Ha doopy doo I lost my shoe
Oh nodle nelf I lost my self
AAAAAAAAAAiYEEEEEEEEE
(But something’s found me)

Totally A Bunch of Haikus and the End of a Limerick Put Together
(Or, The Thing I Made Not in My Right Mind hahaha. Ha.)
Darn, I am alone.
Wonder what my friends’re doing.
I guess I will drink
This milk that I put
Lavender simple syrup in.
(I made the syrup.)
It is getting late.
But……. that don’t bother me none!
I am NOT lonely!
(okay that’s a lie)
It’s dark and sad and lonely 😦
But who needs lagoons??
I have….. Jawbreakers!
And – (um) – look around the room
Aha! Post-It Notes!
Post-It Notes are fun!
Easily funner than friends.
ahem Easily.
sigh Who’m I kidding?
It’s not. Fun. being an exile,
Like Paradise Lost.
(cue chuck berry guitar intro)
Like Martin Luther or Satan,
Bein’ left out I’m hatin’,
But hey it gave me these poeeeeeeeeeems….. yeah!

A Poem That You Need More Context to Understand
(Or, The Thing I Made Basically Just to Confuse You and for My Own Enjoyment)
her face–
like an unassuming insect being sprung upon by cave spiders –
spider boys

THANK YOU! *bow, bowing to you, bow, bow.* Thank you all, I hope you enjoyed the show! I love you all! Not in a weird way! Come again soon! But not too soon! Ok BYEEEEEE!