“I think you know why we’re here.” The turkey began. “Not that we had a choice.” He had dismounted his usual position on the mantle, and had been unseasonably plopped into the dusty box with the rest of them. “We have been here before. This isn’t the first time we have faced near calamity, and … Continue reading Here Comes Santa Claus
Author: Samuel Clemens
Wisdom for Moths
To all of my six legged friendsWho spend your days taking flightIf you’d not like to meet a quick endI’d advise you not fly towards the light If you have one hundred eyesAnd you’re yellow or purple or blueIf you would like to be wiseThe light’s a bad option for you If you value your … Continue reading Wisdom for Moths
The Shop Teacher
Dr. Blattis glanced up from his papers and gestured for his patient to lie down. On the excessively pink wallpaper hung certificates and other psychological awards that the doctor had achieved. Blattis took careful note of his patient’s physical condition, as he did for every appointment. He wore oily overalls that at one point must … Continue reading The Shop Teacher
Dr. Stewart’s Rebellious Rug
Some things are disappointing. Doctor Pepper and a movie without popcorn are high on the list. But the highest, even higher than losing a high stakes poker game, is muddy footprints. No matter how high, wide, long, or narrow you make this list, nothing tops getting mud tracked all throughout your house. On Dr. Stewart’s … Continue reading Dr. Stewart’s Rebellious Rug
In a Galaxy Not Far Enough Away
On the distant planet of Darvon, there was not a single being that didn’t know the name of Zog. His intergalactic empire stretched throughout the Milky Way. Only one planet, although unknowingly, denied his authority. Now Zog’s deep voice echoed through the great hall, “Ok. How about this? ‘Dearest Earthlings, We have had enough of … Continue reading In a Galaxy Not Far Enough Away
Sir Lancelot!
There once was a knight named Sir Lancelot. Instead of a helmet he had a large pot. And all of his armor was fit on with glue, He looked kind of crazy, from head to shoe. In place of his sword he had a long broom; He had a mop-head instead of a plume. He … Continue reading Sir Lancelot!
Rhino Pride
“I’m amazing!” said the stuffy rhino to the lions. Now, like most people, the lions did not enjoy being woken up with a snort of a rhino in their face. The head of the pride groaned. He opened one giant eye and snorted at the lumbering beast. The rhino grinned. Now he had told the … Continue reading Rhino Pride
The Road Less Traveled Pt.2
Jenson Birchfield, and his bright green shirt, bent queasily out the window again. He believed that if you premeditated each decision you could not possibly go wrong. This was often time consuming. This morning’s shirt decision took a half hour. Had he not fully weighed his travel decision? Had he considered all of his options … Continue reading The Road Less Traveled Pt.2
The Road Less Traveled
Jenson Birchfield could never make up his mind. Like this morning, he wasted an entire half hour evaluating the pros and cons of wearing his bright neon shirt. He had forgotten to do the laundry so he was down to just two shirts, one a drab brown and the other neon green. If he wore … Continue reading The Road Less Traveled
Short Stories, Beginnings Only
A Word of Explanation Samuel Clemens stared at the computer screen in front of him. It was almost as white and blank as his mind. He had been sitting like this for at least an hour, stripped of ideas. Then, as suddenly as a blender turning on, he had an idea, but as soon as … Continue reading Short Stories, Beginnings Only
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