The P of DFA was chasing them.

So far, he had chased them through the belly of an alligator, the Empire State Building, and the lung of a carp, but he hadn’t caught them yet. But Elsie felt it was only a matter of time.

Then the ground fell out from under them. The P of DFA was left yelling in anger at the top of the hole.

They landed in a small pool of water that didn’t soak them, and looked around.

The pool was in a small clearing in the middle of a forest. An eyeball stooped over some cucumbers.

‘Oh me, oh my!’ it groaned. ‘I’m getting too old for this!’

The eye had two legs and two arms, and was about as big as a bamboo chicken cage. It held a twisted stick in one gnarly hand, and had a long grey beard.

‘Uh…can I help you?’ asked Dylan. The eye turned with fire in its’ eye (Not really in its’ eye for it was an eye, but you get my meaning).

‘Yes,’ it replied. ‘You can get my body back from her.’

‘Who’s her?’

‘Belladonna Crunchback.’

Elsie twisted her face. ‘That’s not a very nice name.’

‘Well, of course,’ said the eye. ‘She’s not very nice.’

‘Who is she?’ inquired Dylan.

‘It’s more of a what. Some say that she is a witch, taught her trade by hags. Some say she is a hag, taught her way by witches. But I say the she’s one of the old ones-a daemon.’ The eye barely whispered the word so much as not say it. A book appeared in his hand and flipped open to a page entitled “Zarnath.”

‘It fits her description. A cruel old five-armed spirit with a habit of tearing the flesh off young dogs.’

Elsie looked revolted.

‘Oh, no, save the puppies that only exist in this crazy man’s brain,’ muttered Dylan. ‘None of this is real, Elsie.’

‘Oh?’ countered the eye. ‘Prove that you are real.’

‘I’m here, talking to you.’

The eye snorted. ‘What kind of proof is that? It was a trick question, friend. Nobody, from the tiniest child to the most powerful man in the world can prove, by all mortal definitions, that they are real. For if they are not real, neither is anything else, including mortal definitions. Remember that.’

‘All right, all right. Where does she live?’

‘In the pool where you so unceremoniously landed.’

‘What?!’ shrieked Elsie.

‘Well, where do you want her to live?’

‘I don’t want her to live anywhere!’

‘And you want to free her to creep into your house and turn you into a monkey?’

‘She can do that?’

The eye shrugged. ‘Who knows? Just dive in and get me my body.’

‘Er…Why do you need your body?’

‘I wasn’t always an eyeball with arms and legs!’ snapped the eye. ‘I used to be the eye of a large giant, but Crunchbank there,’ he nodded at the pool, ‘killed the giant and put a humans’ arms and legs on me and gave me life. She still has my body, and I want it back.’

Elsie looked disgusted. ‘She has arms and legs down there?’

‘What do you expect from someone who grants an eyeball sentience? Get going.’

‘What’s your name?’ Dylan couldn’t resist asking. The eye turned.

‘Iris.’

‘Isn’t that more of a girl’s name?’

‘What did you expect? I’m an eyeball. Get going.’

Dylan turned and shrugged at Elsie, then jumped into the pool.

‘This is madness,’ Elsie whispered to herself.

But she followed him anyway.